Cartman Washington

Thursday Night Football: Giants @ Washington

New York @ Washington

As I’ve mentioned before, I live across the street from a bar. It’s like 200 feet from my front door to the patio of the bar. This is awesome because:

a) I’m unmarried and;

b) I like beer

However, there is a downside to anything, and the biggest downside to living across the street from a bar is that you can’t say no to meeting up with someone. It isn’t much of a downside, but it is funny any time I try to say no to someone. The conversation usually goes one of two ways. I can lie or I can be upfront.


Usual lying conversation:

Person: Hey bud, I’m across the street, come have a beer with me.

Me: Oh, I’m not home right now.

Person: I can see your car. I’m actually looking at you through your window.

Me: Be there in five!


Usual upfront conversation:

Person: Hey bud, I’m across the street, come have a beer with me.

Me: I would love to but I have to finish (writing, workout, watching sports, playing video game)

Person: OH! PARDON ME! I’m sorry that I got in my car to drive all the way to YOUR FAVORITE BAR just TO SEE YOU! By all means, finish your busy schedule and I’ll just chill here by myself. It took me 20 minutes to convince my wife to let me out of the house, but I know how tough it is to be single! I mean, GOD FORBID you got off your lazy ass to walk that 100 feet to come say hi. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE!

Me: Kidding! Be there in five!


Again, not a huge downside. Living across from a bar is 95% awesome. Plus Uber is really cheap. Which is kind of like Thursday Night Football.

It’s football, so it’s awesome. I like watching football, you like watching football, football is better than just about anything else on the television. Having said that, these Thursday Night games are almost always much worse than the games being played on Sundays and Mondays. More times than not it’s a match-up you’d skip if other games were on, everyone is playing on short rest (which makes the games about 30% more sloppy) and the game almost always ends up a blowout. Hell, Washington enters this game with 17 players on the injured list. 17!!! Still, it’s football, and that’s when you have to keep things in perspective. 95% upside.

The R*dsk*ns are coming off an evisceration. Not the Philly game Sunday, that was close and very well played. I’m talking about the way South Park eviscerated Washington and the rest of the NFL. Highly enjoyable! Aside from that great episode, Washington played Philly toe-to-toe for the majority of that game. Kirk Cousins is coming off a very good game where he ended up throwing for 427 yards (side note: I’m still not sold on Kirk Cousins. He’s 1-7 as a starter, with that one win coming against Jacksonville. Washington could have had NO ONE playing quarterback and still won that game). Eli was also competent in his game against the Texans last Sunday in leading his team to their first win of the season. So now we get both teams on short rest in a critical game to see who takes sole possession of last place. I pick Washington to pull it out. I like Kirk at home a little more than Eli on the road. Eli on short rest just seems like two or three picks waiting to happen. And if you want to watch the game in Glendora, I know a great bar nearby…

R^dsk*ns: 28, Giants 24


Last Week: 12-4

Season: 33-15

Hey! Follow me on Twitter @sachemo319

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