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The NBA’s Next Superstar

@jeremyjoemills on Twitter First off, you have to get over the unibrow. Believe me I was the worst about it, but behind it holds the next household name in the NBA. If Kevin Garnett and Kevin Durant had a baby, that player would look a lot like Anthony Davis. The versatile 6’10 big man showed

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Ray Rice has been known as a punishing player for years on the field but his lady friend found out how much power this man packs off the field this summer when she took a Mike Tyson haymaker to the face. That little ball of muscle has made a lot of money bouncing off would be tacklers over the years for the Baltimore Ravens, but he might have a post career option as a boxer if he can Juwanna Mann into a woman’s match.

It wasn’t surprising at all to see a NFL player drop a people’s elbow on his broad when that road’s been previously paved by Chad Ochocinco’s MMA rear naked choke he introduced to his fiancé or receiver, Rae Carruth putting a Saprano hit on his baby’s momma.

What was surprising was that the NFL only punished Ray Rice with a two game suspension (perfect week 2 fantasy free agent steal!). Come on NFL, I get it, every now and again who doesn’t want to hit the person they love? But we have to remember we’re bigger, stronger, smarter, funnier, more efficient, really just all around better  so we can’t just go around beating ladies. And it gets even worse when we look at the comparative punishments the NFL has doled out in recent years. A ton of players have been suspended four games, that’s double Ray Rice’s suspension, for smoking marijuana which is currently legal for recreational purposes in two states.

In the end I think two lessons were learned, If you’re in the NFL hit your wife before you hit a joint and if you’re dating Ray Rice, clean the dishes when he tells you and not when you feel like it.

Corey Wagner – follow me on twitter @wags3687



As the calendar hits August let’s take a quick look at what NHL teams have done this offseason. The top teams in the West have improved and the top teams in the East have weakened. The Stanley Cup Champion Los Angeles Kings did the only thing they had to do they resigned winger Marian Gaborik.

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Luke Rockhold: Next UFC Champ

  @mister3mma on twitter With the welterweight champion, The All American Chris Weidman, defending the UFC strap Dec.6th versus the TRT-less Vitor Belfort, it’s not happening this year, but if or when Luke Rockhold matches up with who ever is holding the 185 lb belt, put money on him to win it. A former Strikeforce

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Rock & Pole Odds!

Rock and Pole Odds Are Live: Go place bets & win money on the show!     Prop Bet #1: Will Too Short Be Too Late?


I…AM…ROCKULES!!! – Hercules Review

I have no problem saying it, this adaptation of the Greek demi-god shits all over The Legend of Hercules that came out months before. I almost feel bad for star Kellan Lutz but we knew it was coming, he knew it was coming, and hey he got paid so why should he give a shit?

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UFC on Fox Recap

@mister3mma on twitter Saturday nights UFC on Fox delivered the goods to the masses, as the fights on the card that night were both entertaining & competitive bouts. From start to finish on the main card, the athletes on display brought their best to the octagon & the fans, as always, were the winners from

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2014 Premier Fantasy

Premier Fantasy, the English Premier League Fantasy Game

Punch Drunk Sports

Password- dildocorn


Rules- The object is to build a roster of 15 players, with a budget of 100 million, that will score you points based on their performance on the field.


No Sleep til Cooperstown

The National Baseball Hall of Fame inducted six new members this year: Pitchers Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine, Slugger Frank Thomas, and three of the game’s winningest managers: Joe Torre, Bobby Cox, and Tony LaRussa. Everyone of these men has made his own legitimate contribution to the sport and it’s record books. Each one of

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Tony Dungy is gutless. He is not alone.

  Tony Dungy’s role on NBC’s Football Night in America is talking “X’s and O’s”. He brings all the knowledge as a former head coach, while simultaneously speaking absolutely nothing. Did he made a deal with some demon for that magic trick? It seems almost paradoxical. But, he said something earlier this week. Maybe he

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The CrossFit games are in full swing and holy shit are they bad ass. Talk about physical freaks of the world watching these guys holds the same addictive properties as my other secret fetishes like the food network and the travel channel. And in terms of helping fat America nothings gotten more out of shape,

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Tripoli shows the squad how the Raiders used to do it.

FANTASY FOOTBALL: Tier-ing Your Rankings to Tear-up Your Draft

How a little extra prep and draft day timing will set you up to KO your fantasy drafts.

2014’s Fantasy Football Season is starting to gain steam and draft dates are coming faster than The Teeb on Friday night at The Abbey. Don’t worry Drunk Punchers; Big T Dobbs is here to help you knock out your leagues in 2014.

Let’s think of fantasy football drafting like entering a prize fight -minus the getting punched in the face. How you prepare will be the difference between holding a belt in victory or waking-up staring at the arena lights wondering: “what the fuck just happened?”

Pre-draft prep and draft day timing are essential to maxing out the value of each of your draft picks in the same way it’s key for fighters to maximize punch efficiency by choosing spots and timing punches. Efficiency maximizes return. Paying attention to draft trends, opponents’ rosters, and trusting in your pre-draft rankings will allow you to maximize your rosters value.

A tool you can use to easily monitor trends and maximize your pick value is tiered rankings. Whether you use an industry professionals rankings or your own, being able to keep tabs on your draft and roster using a tiered ranking system allows you to find hidden value throughout the middle rounds of your draft and steal high-end talent with later round draft picks. Using your draft picks effectively, like using a well timed jab, is what winning is built on.

“What the fuck is a tiered ranking?” Tiered ranking is breaking down each position into similarly valued chunks of players. This allows you to wait for the optimal time to choose a player by monitoring other players available in their tier and spending the lowest draft pick possible. Using lower picks to acquire players valued equally to players selected in earlier rounds is where the value is found in Fantasy Drafts.

For Example: here are the top 3 tiers at QB as I have them ranked.





Peyton Manning



Aaron Rodgers



Drew Brees



Matt Stafford



Andrew Luck



Cam Newton



Matt Ryan



Nick Foles


As you can see they’ve been lumped together in tiers according to similar values (3 – top tier, 2 – second tier, 3 – third tier)

If your plan going in to your draft is to own a “top tier” QB, natural instinct is to want to own Peyton Manning. He puts up the most points and therefore is the most valuable player.

IMPORTANT: The key to the tiered rankings approach is to draft one of the last players available in any given tier.

The argument being: In a yearly draft (that isn’t 12 ESPN “experts” trying to outsmart each other) Peyton Manning will be drafted in the top 5 or so picks of the 1st round. However, if maximizing roster value is the goal, drafting Drew Brees in the 2nd round or 3rd round is more valuable for the overall makeup of your team than spending your 1st round selection on Manning. You will have been able to secure stars at other positions in rounds 1 & 2 while still drafting a “Top Tier” QB, as was the plan.

Disclaimer: I am not promising that taking this approach is guaranteed to win you a fantasy championship; your team will only be as good as your rankings.

Aside from more time spent pre-draft, this approach takes a pretty big onion bag too. Because, like in a fight, the perfect spot to land (a punch or a draft pick) is the split second before your opponent does. Which means, in the QB example offered above; if you wait until the last second hoping to grab the last QB in the top tier but your opponent gets there first, you’re stuck waiting to grab your starting QB at the end of the next tier (or worse you could end up with Tony F’ing Romo).

In the end, using a tiered approach on draft day will help you track where the value remains during your draft and exploit it. Not every pick you make needs to follow your tiers religiously – if you want Peyton Manning you go out there and you fucking draft Peyton Manning… and do it with confidence knowing that your tiers will find you value in middle rounds at WR or RB.

Know your opponents, pay attention to how your squad starts to shape up during the draft and you’ll be able to squeeze every ounce of value from your draft picks and TKO your league before the bell even rings.


Big T

Over the next few weeks I will be posting my #powerful tiered rankings and some guidelines for using them to your advantage to give Drunk-Punchers a head start on draft season. Hit me up @bigtdobbs with fantasy questions and comments on posts.


Tony Dungy Hates Homophobes

There are gay players trying to be accepted into professional sports. Oh no! How  infuriating! (sarcasm) Oh, also, you say former head coach for the Colts, Tony Dungy, said he wouldn’t have drafted Michael Sam. Oh no! (still sarcasm) See, Tony Dungy didn’t say anything bad about the gay community or Michael Sam. What he said

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washington nationals beard


Oh hipster, what a magical beast you are. Caught somewhere in between smelly hippy and asshole socialite, you’ve found a way to combine only the bad qualities of both. You mix an unbearable sense of style with a condescending, know-it-all attitude. If it wasn’t for how instrumental you’ve been with bringing delicious craft beers to

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UFC on Fox= Fireworks

  @mister3mma on twitter On Saturday July 26th the UFC comes back to San Jose, CA to put on an action packed card for free tv on Fox. The main event is a title shot fight for the 170lb Champ, Johny Hendricks & both Matt Brown & Robbie Lawler can’t wait to achieve that goal.

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About Us

Punch Drunk is, for the most part, a sports podcast. Sure we will get off subject and discuss which UFC fighter you LEAST wanna get raped by. But its a sports podcast.

With 3 headlining stand-up comics and sometimes friends. Ari Shaffir, Sam Tripoli, and Jayson Thibault all met at the Comedy Store and have been friends for over 11 years. All 3 are stand-up comics and big sports fans.

This podcast is their sports thoughts, arguments, stories, fights, and bets! The Podcast Tribune called Punch Drunk "an asian massage for the real sports fans".

Latest Articles


The NBA’s Next Superstar.






Luke Rockhold: Next UFC Champ.

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